Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Unwanted. Unworthy. Why can’t you get it together? Get a friggin’ grip. You NEVER do anything right. If you had been better (smarter, thinner, prettier, etc.) this would not have happened.
These are just a few examples of the negative things that I have “said” to myself over the course of my life. I’m not proud to admit it but there it is.. I’m a negative self talker and I think many others are too. I beat myself up over mistakes I have made, things I should have done, things I didn’t do, things that are my fault and my personal favorite.. things that are not my fault. I blame myself for everything.
Sometimes, on quiet nights, when the house is still and everyone else is asleep, I lie in bed awake.. thinking. I think about the day, the week, the month, my whole life. Please tell me that I’m not the only one that does this. Its not only defeating, its emotionally exhausting.
But, for me, I have hope. And my hope has a name… Jesus. He is my hope.
Are the thoughts that sometimes run rampant in my mind true? Not usually. Do we all have things that we would change or do differently? Of course we do! That’s just part of life and learning to be a better person. But overall, the thoughts that run through my mind at night are really just a bunch of junk… its the enemy, trying to get a foothold on me, and sometimes he does.
But, my hope is in Jesus and in His word and it tells me this..
Philippians 4:8New Living Translation (NLT)
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Probably easier said than done but my hope, my Jesus who has overcome the world (John 16:33) gives me peace and through that peace, I can then “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable”. When I am able to do this.. that’s when I can tell my inner voice to bite me and it finally shuts up.